Click on this picture to print out your Love Soup Recipe card!
Today, I am in the kitchen because we are going to cook up some LOVE in your life! Because how you cook is how you do relationships! And watching this video will show you the right way and the wrong way.
Today, we’re making love soup. Are you in a relationship right now? If not, think of… your ex. Write down their name on a piece of paper. This soup represents your relationship.
If you have a lot of soup, that means the foundation of your relationship is very big. Like, you both bought a house together, you grew up next door to one another, you have 6 children together, you built a business together. That’s a lot of soup.
If you have a little soup, that means the foundation of your relationship is very small. Like, you live in California and he lives in… Siberia or…. another planet— like, he’s an astronaut and is currently floating around in outer space or he’s stationed on the moon. That’s very little soup.
Right now… write down how much soup you have in your relationship. How much of a life have the 2 of you built, together? A lot, little, half.
The quantity of your soup represents how much of a COMMON life you have built TOGETHER. Most successful people want to put a lot of spices and salt into their soup. Salt represents meaning. Fulfilling your potential or life purpose, pursuing your calling. Spice represents sexiness and fun.
Right now, write down how much salt or meaning you want in your relationship. And then how much spice or sexiness. And do it on a scale of 1-100.
A lot of people want to add spice and salt to their relationship, but if you don’t have enough soup— it’s going to be too salty or too spicy. If you want to have more spicy or salt, you have to add more soup or more foundation in your relationship. Otherwise, it won’t even taste good. You won’t enjoy the relationship. An example of that is living on credit cards. You can’t even enjoy each new expensive purchase, because you know that you’re just getting into more and more debt.
When you’re just getting into a relationship with someone, you take 1/2 of your soup and combine it with half of the other person’s soup. Then, you add salt and spices to taste. A lot of people… LOVE tons of salt and spices— because they want a lot of meaning and a lot of fun in their relationship, but they get into a relationship with someone who doesn’t have a lot of soup. They don’t have a job or they haven’t finished school. So that person can’t contribute a lot to the relationship. So you go, “That’s okay. I’ll just give the the relationship more of my soup. I’ll pay for everything. I’ll provide. It’s too hard for me to find my equal… someone with a lot of soup, I’ll just date a younger or less financially stable person and then…. I can still have a spicy sexy meaningfully salted relationship.”
What happens when you use your own soup…. is— Let’s say you are potato soup and this person is squash soup. When you have a relationship, it’s potato squash soup. But if it’s only YOU in this pot. That’s not a relationship. It’s just someone else riding on your coat tails. That person is enjoying YOUR hobbies, using YOUR money, draining YOUR energy. Eventually your soup pot will run dry or… if you’re super rich and super youthful, so you never run out of soup… it’s still not joyful for either one of you. The greatest joy is when you have more flavors in the soup, not just one. Eventually, it’s going to feel really really lonely. Because that person is just an extension of your ego. They aren’t being recognized because none of their soul or their soup is in the relationship. And you aren’t being recognized because they don’t exist in your relationship. The real THEM is in this pot.
For love, you have to have 2 different kinds of soup. If you only have 1 soup in the relationship pot. That’s a father daughter, mother-son relationship. That’s not a co-creative romantic relationship. It’s co-dependent and eventually becomes parasitic. You have to have both people contributing to the foundation of the relationship.
Right now, write down how much you contribute to the foundation of your relationship from a scale of 1-100 and how much the other person contributes. This means money, taking care of the house, kids and their own personal health. It also means commuting to see one another.
Let’s say I put a worm in this soup, you have emotional baggage or you have a problem with alcohol. If I mix soups together…. that love that you co-create with that other person will be toxic. That’s why a lot of people have a hard time when they first move in together because you become that person’s soup. They become your soup. What love forces you to do is clean up your own soup because you’re causing that other person grief and suffering.
So some people say, “I can get around it….” So what they do is they pick out the best parts of their soup. That’s usually called the dating or honeymoon phase. And you don’t invest all of yourself into the soup. You only put the good parts. I agree with this in the dating phase. Because you’re not bringing your crap into the relationship. However, you are EITHER going to have to give up the parts of yourself that are wormy and crappy… and step up to the plate and make great soup with someone…. So you’re going to have to do therapy, life coaching, go to the gym, pay your back taxes, do whatever you need to do to step up in your life…. OR… some people try to hide their bad soup from their partners and then their partners find out later that they had a secret double life or some skeletons in the closet.
A lot of questions I get asked is…. “How come I fell in love with this tiny little relationship… we were only together for 2 months on a tropical island… and then he bailed on me?” Because he didn’t want to show you the rest of his soup!
Here’s what I suggest…. Do a little bit of everything, all the time. Clean up your soup, invest a little bit more of your clean soup into the relationship as you go along, add lots of spices. All of the above… all the time! Love is an all or nothing game.
People want to know all the tricks and loopholes because they just don’t want to do the real work. COMMIT TO DOING THE REAL WORK… did you hear me? I said, commit to doing the real work. Commit to cleaning up your own soup pot —- and making it the best tasting soup in the world and then commit to combining it with someone else’s good soup to make an even better soup and then commit to adding spices to make it BETTER. Better, better, better, better, better…… not hiding your soup, not picking out what’s good… just better and better love.
