“Coaching the Athlete’s Coach” (Part 2) by Vicky Lee

Coaching the Athlete’s Coach

Part 2: Who is the #1 alpha controlling your life?

Download the Worksheet video 2

Welcome to Part 2 of a 4-part video series, where I’m coaching Jason Arnold, owner of Alpha Athletics and also former trainer of the Sichuan Blue Whales Mens Basketball Club (CBA) in China. I’m going to show you step-by-step how Jason fixed the tiny hole that was sinking the entire Titanic of his life. You’re going to learn how to do this in 30 minutes or less with each video of this 4 video series.

In Part 1, Jason created his formula for success which hinged on one key ingredient— control. He needs to fulfill and satisfy his need for control or nothing in his business or life will work smoothly. What’s your one key ingredient in your formula for success? Write it down on it Worksheet #2 which you can download from my website. Just like Jason, you need to figure out what’s blocking you from getting that key ingredient. Here’s how he did it.

What’s keeping you from having or getting that one key ingredient to your success?

As soon as you start brain storming why can’t get it… your brain will start flushing. You want to get all of that irrelevant information off of your desktop. It’s basically mind clutter. But you have to go through the process of clearing the bowels of your brain. So do it as long as you can, until you get to either an “aha” moment, an insight or… you get emotionally upset. That’s good! That means you’re getting closer to asking yourself the more important questions besides, “Why don’t I have control? That’s so silly!”

Questions are like flashlights in the dark. You have to point them in the right direction. So the wrong question leads to the wrong answer. Your goal in brain flushing is not to find the correct answer. Your goal is to find the correct question. The question alone will unlock the secret code to why you’re purposely and deliberating withholding from yourself… the one key ingredient to your success.

I guarantee you every time I’ve done this, which is over 5,000 participants in my Success Groups, there has never been a person who did not voluntarily give up their key ingredient for success. They just chose… to give up their control, or give up love for the sake of power, or give up money for the sake of their integrity or give up success for the sake of a relationship.

So I’m trying to get Jason to ask himself the BIGGIE, the one BIG question that he spent 36 years avoiding asking himself.

You are in it to win it.

Jason came to a hard realization, “If everything I wanted came true, could I handle it?” In other words, “Am I good enough?”

As soon as he said that, I intuitively felt like his father was asking that question, not Jason. When you do this, you’re going to come upon some big doubts… and I want you to listen to yourself and ask, “Is that my voice? Or is that someone’s else voice speaking in my subconscious? Who said that to me once? Am I really a loser or am I just repeating something I heard my brother tell me when I was 14?”

Because if it’s not your authentic voice, you’re letting someone else tell you what you’re capable of doing and who you are capable of being.

A man cannot follow 2 paths. That person is going to send you on this path (point left). No matter how promising or attractive that path looks, it doesn’t have the one missing ingredient for your success. When you follow your own path, to the dismay of others, no matter how ugly or boring that path looks, it possesses the one secret ingredient for your success.

What do you want? A beautiful orchard with no rain, that will one day dry up? Or mud, dirty, filthy mud…. but full of seeds which will one day sprout and grow into a forest of abundance?

In life, you are in it to win it. Not to cash out early and squander your temporary luck.

I started talking to Jason like I was his father. Because I wanted him to take back control over his life from the one person he had surrendered it to. So you’re gonna hear some cuss words.

Personify your key ingredient.

I was pointing to the word “control” and personified it, calling it a “he.” As soon as I did that, Jason started making excuses for his master. He started to tell me all the sound, legitimate reasons why this person had some good points. He was protecting the one person withholding from him— the missing key ingredient of his success.

I was trying to get Jason to seize it and claim, “Hey, that’s mine. I need it!” But instead, Jason said, “It’s ok. Let him have it. He needs it more than me.”

You need your success more than anyone else needs it. That’s why God implanted it in your body.

If you want to be compassionate, make it #2. But #1 is you and your success. The moment you understand that, you are ready to make the sacrifices that will make you #1. If you get #1, you get everything. #2, #3, #4, #5 and so on. You get compassion, you get friendliness, you get everything.

The moment you put #2 compassion ahead of #1 control…. you get nothing.

Who is your #1, alpha controlling your life?

Of the 5,000 people in my previous workshops, the talented ones who are not successful yet is because they choose to love other people more than they love themselves. They delay their own success because they’re too busy helping others before they help themselves.

In their eyes… after 10, 12 years, sometimes after 30 years… I see this look. This sad sorrowful death wish. They don’t want to live anymore. I had a client worth $175 million dollars and he made that wealth helping others before he helped himself. And in his eyes, I saw that suicide. They want to go home to Heaven, cuz staying down here on Earth— they’re not living for themselves. They’re living someone else’s dream.

I gave Jason a choice. Disappoint your dad and become a success. Or keep him safe and delay your success. He could not betray his father for the sake of his success.

Look at what’s blocking you from getting your one key ingredient to your success. Are you willing… to slay the dragon keeping you from marrying the princess? Even if that dragon is your own father? Because you have to start asking yourself the hard questions. How badly are you willing to become a prince and one day, a king?

Because most people, I find… are not willing to give up 3 things: love, hope and faith. In the next video, Jason finds the courage to slay his dragon because it’s the most compassionate thing to do… is forgive someone for holding you back.

Please write down what’s blocking you in the comments to this video!