How will I feel during the coaching process?

Most people feel “clarity.” They also feel like after years and decades of being stuck or confused, the answer all along was so simple. Powerful, yet simple.

Others feel a flood of emotions and thoughts. Like stirring a latent volcano whose underground lava is now aflame with a new glow. What is going on here? When you shift the foundations of who you are— the lava sleeping beneath the surface will awaken and begin to rise. Is this good or bad? Neither and both. You are in a higher league, for better and worse. That is both the price and the boon of success.

Read this article I wrote about the coaching process: 

Coaching is initiated by talking about an issue. Talking is really just “thinking.”

The coach doesn’t talk, as much as “think” through an issue with such a high level of “consciousness” that it causes the client to have his/her own breakthrough or “Aha!” moment.

One technique of a coach is to be a sounding board, repeating and reflecting what the client is saying. Not be an absorbing board with his/her own opinions.

Another technique of a coach is to be as still as clear water. Like prayer. So that the client can hear his/her own voice reverberating in the dark void of space. Isolated, this thought or feeling may suddenly seem ridiculous, a lie or the opposite— poignantly truthful.

The coach “strips” away all irrelevant information and lets that thought or belief stand alone like a stallion on a desert plane. Do you want that wounded horse or would you rather have….. this plump bunny rabbit? Giving the client a choice. Showing the client options AFTER irrelevant information is stripped away. Sometimes an unattractive choice will result in a better outcome. The ugly dry tortoise may finish the race sooner by practicing consistency and patience, than the speedy rabbit who sprains his ankle halfway through the race.

The only time a coach makes a suggestion is to play the devil’s advocate and “provoke” the client into insisting on his/her truth or belief. The more a client insists something is true, the more obvious that it may be a lie. Or the more obvious the client is holding onto something that will prevent his/her success. This is called “testing.” Testing the client’s premises that define his/her life or reality, cause them to shatter under unbearable weight.

The goal of a coach-client relationship is not to find out what is true and what is a lie. That is merely the process. The destination or the goal is for the client to “create.” To find his/her ability to create his/her life. It doesn’t matter what is true, when you can create new truth. Creation supersedes truth. Creation is an ongoing, evolving and moving target. Learning how to create or un-create is the end goal of coaching. What you are creating is not important. How you create is everything.

Coaching does not happen in stages. Nothing is performed in a chronological order. Everything happens simultaneously. There is no step 1, step 2, step 3 formula for success. All steps happen at the same time. For example, you do not strip away lies, then discover truth, then use that truth to create a new reality. Instead, as you are stripping away lies— you are already creating a new reality. Conversely, as you are creating a new reality, you automatically begin stripping away the lies. In order to do both, you must be discovering your truth the entire time.

Thus, when a client asks, “When will I see results?” Or “When will I feel better?” The answer is the same as, “When will I not see results?” Or “When will I feel worse?” Success causes you to stop seeing your current results, both good and bad. And start to see new results, both good and bad.

It’s like becoming rich. You get rid of old problems (making my rent each month, credit card debt). But you introduce new problems (making my mortgage each month, family members asking to borrow money). When you create success, you create a whole new level of being in this world. Being in a higher league, for better and for worse— is both the price and the boon of success.

When a client decides to work with a coach, they do not go from black to white, fat to skinny, poor to rich. They go from green to red to purple to orange to eventually, a rainbow which can accommodate every color of the spectrum including black and white. They go from jiggly in some areas to firm in other areas, to stronger on bottom and weaker on top, to more flexible here and more stiff there to eventually, athleticism which can accommodate every body weight and shape including fat and skinny. They go from being unemployed to being employed to entrepreneurship to partnership to debt to executive to start-up to bankruptcy to credit to cash to investments to eventually, a diverse financial portfolio which can accommodate every level of risk including poor and rich.

In coaching, the goal is not to go from a zero to a ten. The goal is to embrace all of who you are, the part of you that is a zero and the part of you that is a ten. To be a zero, one, two, three, four, five, sex, seven, eight, nine and ten—- all at the same time. That way, you will never fear what you are not. Without fear, you now have the magic key to creating.

If a client makes himself into a seven, he/she will fear going back to being a six or fear he/she will never become an eight. But if a client is a six, seven and an eight— he/she can effortlessly be any one of those at any time. So much more if he/she were every level of advancement or novicehood.

Jesus said, “See Mother, I make all things new.” He had to be crucified and temporarily killed in order to become king and eternally alive. He did not see being a zero (being crucified) as any different than being a ten (being a king).

Jesus is an example of a self-realized person, the pinnacle of human evolution. A magnificent co-creator. While the client’s goal may not be to emulate Jesus, the process of becoming fearless in all ways is the same process as manifesting the life you want.

There are not 10 or 12 steps to success. The 10th step is the first. The first step is the 10th. “The last shall be first and the first shall be last,” means that what a client feels while working with a coach can and will be terrifying and victorious. At his/her highest level of consciousness, it is both at the same time.

What do I do when I feel this way? 

1. Continue coaching. Coaching un-earths the lava seething beneath your consciousness. This lava is the same energy as your unused potential. It is the maddening frustration of possessing unyielding passion, but not manifesting it into a concrete reality. Lava cannot be tamed! However, it can be channeled into the right direction. As soon as you do the hard work of using your lava or unused potential in a way that manifests a tangible (albeit small, at first) result— you have a life path! All you have to do is continue on this path and it will lead you to success.

2. Find a spiritual practice. I suggest Oneness meditation which can be done online for free at www.onenessmeditationevents.com, founded by Sri Baghavan. Go to church, mosque, temple or visit nature. Studying or reading spiritual truths will help re-fashion your thoughts so that they begin to heal your soul.

3. Exercise and eat healthy. When your body is purified of toxins, so is your mind. So are your emotions. A toxic body is the biggest block to your continued personal growth and success. I suggest 3 things: take Barley Life (a green supplement I have been taking for 23 years which you can order through me); a series of 10-12 gallstone cleanses. Read the free ebook by Andrea Mortiz here; and drinking 3 liters of filtered or ionized water per day (1 liter = 32 oz).