Happy New Year 2018! Do you want to win this year? Make it a winning year? Watch this video to learn how to make your 2018 New Year’s Resolution.
I’ve coached world champion athletes. One guy was drinking a beer the night before the competition. Another one was injured and still competed.
I’ve heard this from top performers over and over again that the person who wins (the contest, the race, the business deal) isn’t the most talented, hard working, smartest or strongest. The person who wins is whoever wants it the most.
As a coach, I hear it all the time when I ask, “Why did you lose?” My client says, “my opponent wanted it more than me.”
The rule in business, sports and life is: Whoever wants it the most, wins.
Watch this video to find out the #1 thing that’s blocking you from winning. You need a paper, pen and a hand mirror. Pause the video, go get your stuff and come back.
Step 1: Make a list of what you want. List everything.
There are wrong ways and right ways to make this list. Here are some wrong ways:
Wrong List #1:
You only list one thing that you want, but 10,000 reasons why you want it.
I want a boyfriend…
because I won’t be lonely
because I will have someone to snuggle at night
because someone can take me out to lunch on my birthday
because then I can tell my mom
because…. because… because
Wrong List #2:
You only one thing that you want, but you 10,000 stipulations on how you want it.
I want a boyfriend…
who is rich
who is tall
who is blonde
who is a politician
who has a law degree
who owns his own yacht
Wrong List #3:
You list things that you think you want, but you don’t really want them.
I want to make a movie
I want to write a book
I want to buy a boat
I want to move to Italy
Wait, wait, wait. You want a boat and then you want to move to Italy? Who is going to take care of your boat when you go to Italy? Do you really want a boat?
Think about what you truly want right now in your life and make a meaningful list of what you desire.
You want your list to have 25 things on it. That’s a lot of things. Most people are not going to be able to think of that many things that they truly truly want. Here is the thing: when you were a child, you could think of more than 50 things. You could think of a 1,000 things you wanted. Not just wanted, but truly truly really really wanted. For example:
I wanna go chase that butterfly
I wanna go eat that ice cream
Oh! Oh! Oh!!!! I want pet that puppy dog
I wanna stick my head out the window
I wanna go see where mama is
I wanna go to the toy store
I wanna go to the park
I call that your “inner wisher.” When you are a child, you have a really strong inner wisher. You lived life to the fullest. We lose that ability as adults and so if you can’t list 25 things that you really really want… then that muscle called desire within you is weak.
It can’t be a craving, hunger, need or addiction. For example, if you are an over-eater, this list can’t be:
I wanna eat a donut
I wanna eat a cake
I wanna drink a 6 pack of Coke
Of if you are a sex addict, the list can’t be, “I wanna sleep with her and her and her and her sister…”
That’s not what you truly want. That’s what your disease or your illness wants. What you want is a cure for your addictions.
Okay right now you’re going to pause the video so that you can make a meaningful list of 25 things that you want right now. When you’re done with that list, resume playing the video.
Step 2: Read the list out loud.
There is a right way and a wrong way to read the list out loud.
Wrong Way to Read List #1:
You make excuses for why you want something.
I want the best health so that I can go walking in the morning without any pain because the grocery store is far from my house but I don’t want to drive.
I want to live in Texas, because my son is there for school and to see him will be real nice.
(Hint: The universe doesn’t need to know why you want it. It doesn’t need reasons or excuses. All the universe needs to know, is how much you want it.)
You know why you’re coming up with reasons? You’re trying to convince yourself that you want it, when you don’t really let yourself FEEL how much you want it. Let yourself cry. Let yourself scream. Let yourself hit the wall. Why don’t you demand what you want? Why?
A lot of people don’t let themselves feel what they really want. Some people think it’s bad luck to say what you want, in case you jinx yourself and then you don’t get it. Some people can’t admit that’s what they truly want. Some people don’t believe that they deserve to have those things.
You have to say it and you have to listen to yourself saying exactly what you want.
Step 3: Shout it. On a scale from 1-10, say it like you want it at a 10.
You have to convince the universe that you really really really want what’s on your list.
Most people are going to have a hard time being honest with the universe and declaring what they want!
So I want you to get a hand mirror. Look directly into your eyes. Don’t lose eye contact. A lot of people will look away and look at their teeth. Just look at yourself. Don’t break eye contact, even when it gets hard.
Start by doing a quick check-in. Say, “Hi,” then your name and then a casual, “I love you.” A lot of folks are gonna find this hard to do. Because most people don’t love themselves.
Here, let me try. “Hi, Vicky. I love you. Oh, I’m so sorry you have to work so hard. I drive you like a slave master. I make you work 120 hours a week. I do love you, but you don’t believe that, do you?”
Pause the video and you try it.
Once you get past the mirror check-in, then I want you to read the list to yourself. Yes, you are Santa Clause. Read the list and look yourself in the eye.
Don’t do it yet.
I want to tell you what’s going to happen first. If you read this whole list to yourself, then you’re going to have a realization about why you can’t have it.
Because: as soon as you start shouting your list, you are going to realize that everything on your list boils down to one thing, one desire and one statement. I call that your root wish. The one wish that rules all the other wishes. That’s the number one key to getting everything you want.
Let me show you two lists, so you can see how it goes. Then at the end of the video, you do your list and then comment on this video. Let me know how it went.
I want to finish writing my manuscript
I want to finish cleaning and organizing my house
I want to finish filing my aunt’s and uncle’s taxes
I want to sell my car
I want to diet and lose 10 pounds
I want to fast and reach spiritual enlightenment
I want a book deal
I want to publish articles in literary magazines
I want to finish reading all my assignments for my classes
I want to lay out in the sunshine
Look at this list.
It looks to me like a stair case. It looks to me like this person is preparing for success. Everything on this person’s list is a step that gets her closer to success.
What this person wants is not just the success at the top of the stairs, this person also wants the stairs, the whole staircase. She wants to earn it, own it, make it theirs. I can tell by the list. Because if she didn’t want to work for it, she wanted success to just be given to her, then this list would look like a stork carrying a sack of success in its beak which it just drops into her lap.
This person doesn’t just want success. She wants her OWN success. This person’s root wish is: I want my OWN success. Which means that I want this step and this step and this step—— every single step—I want! I want to do all these things that credit me with my own success so that no one can say it’s not mine.
This person doesn’t just want success, but OWNERSHIP of success.
As soon as you know what your root wish is, you know what’s blocking you from getting it. Based on this list, I already know that anyone keeping this person from their small goals is going to keep them from their big goals. Which means, this person’s New Year’s resolution is:
I am going to cut out anyone in my life who tries to distract me from achieving my small goals. Treat small goals like their my big goals.
How did I know that that was this person’s block to getting what they want? Because I’ve seen a lot of lists and I can tell by the list that a lot of people try to take her success away. That’s why she wants her own success, because people are always trying to take a piece of her pie.
Let’s go to List #2.
I want the best health because
I want a penthouse in Texas.
I want to be bigger and bolder.
I want to live longer
I want to help people who are having an identity crisis.
I want luxuries.
I want to help people know their divine purpose.
I want to travel.
The person who made this list was reading it to himself in the mirror in a very weak way. When I pushed him to shout the list, he couldn’t do it. Because you know what this list really says? It says, “I want to live.”
As soon as you know your one true desire, or your root wish, which is “I want to live,” then you will know what’s blocking from living. Why you can’t live. Why you don’t have permission to live. Why you self- sabotage, why you procrastinate, why you delay important events, why you stay quiet and don’t speak your mind. You will know all the reasons why you don’t let yourself live.
All those reasons why you can’t live will boil down into one reason or one statement. Such as, I couldn’t live or else my parent would die. I had to take care of him.
The reason why I can’t live is because if I went off at age 7 and lived my own life, my father at home would’ve died without me taking care of him. So I suspended all my desires and wishes and wants as a child, to wait until one day my father would grow up, learn how to take care of himself and let me be a kid. I was waiting my whole life for my father to father himself. I’m still here, waiting.
I don’t get to be the kid, until he becomes his true self—- a father and then I become my true self, the child—- the inner wisher, the one who wants everything, the one who wants to live.
His New Year’s resolution is: It’s my turn. I am going to take the time to celebrate, to plan, to honor —- my wishes.
The power to wish is the power to want which give you the power to win.
Winning isn’t everything, but if you wanna win, you gotta wish!